From Street of Shame, Eye 1167, out today.
"POSHED AS A NEWT!" shrieked the Daily Mirror over the front-page 'news' that Victoria Beckham had been pictured staggering around drunk at 5am after a night out in London. Not to be outdone, the Star rechristened her "Slosh Spice", while the Evening Standard's headline was equally succinct: "BENDER IT LIKE BECKHAM".
One title, however, went for a different approach: "POSH JUST ACE IN LACE", simpered the Sun, over a full-page picture of Mrs Beckham looking demure, sober, and, er, "luscious in lace during a night on the loose".
Why the restraint? A clue was provided by the Daily Mail's account of how her "civilised evening of fine dining descended into one of raucous tomfoolery" - "her companions included the chef Gordon Ramsay and his wife Tana, interior designer Kelly Hoppen, actor Ross Kemp and his wife Sun editor Rebekah Wade." And we all know what she's like with a few drinks inside her, as her husband could have testified (but refused to) last November.