"Once respected media-mocking magazine Private Eye has taken to discussing the size of my Wilson. Apparently I've got a small one. Two things spring to mind here. 1: They must have fallen on hard times to sink this low and 2: Given my notoriously impressive track record with most of the hottest women in Medialand, I'm surprised there wasn't a female member of staff there available to put them right.
I can only conclude every woman on the mag is a hideous river pig."
Joe Mott looks like this.
Phwoar. Shame he's got such a tiny cock, isn't it?