Oh god. They forgot to put the bromide in Peter McKay's tea again.
Why is Natasha Kaplinsky always in trousers for Channel 5 news broadcasts? Presentational experts say the camera angles and sofa from which she delivers the news might conceivably provide viewers with a flash of the Kaplinsky knickers, robbing the show of its gravitas. But is it simply that she feels her legs are not her best feature?
I don't even want to think about who the "presentational experts" might be. A panel of him, Geoffrey Levy and Andrew Alexander huddled in the gents round a signed photograph of Carol Barnes, probably.